Confession #9: Inadequacy

 We all have feelings of inadequacy, right? I'm not the only one? I have a problem...I constantly compare myself to others and I find myself lacking. I want to be the perfect mom with my perfect 2.7 children. I want to have the perfectly clean home and have my children be brilliant and polite simply because that's the way I am.
But I don't.

Sure my kid has moments of brilliance and he is a complete gentleman...anywhere but at home. My house is certainly not clean and I am no one to look up to as the paragon of mothers everywhere.

I wasn't raised by the best of mothers either. She certainly had her faults and I'm sure I'm as hard on her as I am on myself. But that's because I think I can do better...sometimes. Other times I think that this is as good as I get and I wonder if that's good enough.

But I'm nearly 99.9% certain I am not alone in this confession, merely for the fact that we are all human and humans are screwing up all over the place: at home, at work, at church, in society at-large.

My kid seems to think I'm doing okay, most of the time. When he's hurting I'm the one he runs to. When I get him from Playcare, he immediately jumps off the lap of another mother to come running to me. He's excited to get me up in the morning and snuggle if only for a little bit now. And I suppose that is enough, for now. I have room for improvement of course, but if I realize this and move on learning something new every day, I think we'll both turn out alright.